... Hello?

I DON'T really know, if someone's reading my blog, but actually, I DON'T really care. I'm happy that I can write something for free XD haha.

Okay, the good news are.... I'VE GOT MY BRAND NEW ELECTRIC GUITAR!!!!! I'm inlove with it (drools). I've already fell in love with my guitar. I bought it from ebay (hehe), "rock school uk" is selling those guitars. Mine is "Benson" "Memphis Limited Edition guitar". It's REALLY beautiful.

Also, I wrote a couple of songs...

Jesus Crist, it's so cold in my room. My fingers are as cold as ice... But I will write :)

...
....
.....

...Snow is falling all around me, children playing, having fun... Why did I remembered this song? I was just desribing, what I can see now... Yeah, this is Christmas song... But the problem is... That I'm not waiting for it. I think, that Christmas supposed to be at least after 6 or 7 monts... But my calendar doesn't agree with me. (Stupid paper thing...) I don't really know why.
Las year, I was crazy about Christmas. Even on September I was ready to decorate my house with all that Christmas stuff. But now... Hmmm... My mum hang a Christmas wreath on my room's wall... It's still hanging... It supose to hang... It's Chistmas time... the Christmas spirit is everywhere... I'm wondering, why did it forgot me? And those X-mas present thing... Oh... Jesus Crist, I just don't feel the upcoming holidays... Well... nobody can help me :( and that is the sadest thing. my sister says, that I'm f**kin' depressed... But I'm not crying... It's like nightmare. I'm afraid that I'm driving myself crazy with those thoughts. That makes the shivers come down my spine...


I'm too strange for myself, so I'm wondering if someone could live with me (yep guys, I'm talking about you). I'm trying to think that nobody understands me... These thoughts are killin' me. I'm just trying not to think about that. And later, the bad thoughts are leaving my head (at least)...


What's next?.. what's next????
I don't know...
My obsession with MUSE didn't decrase at all, and I'm happy about that :P

Oh God, it's so cold here. Even my brain has shrinked from the cold... That's why I'm writing nonesenses...

I'm totally discombobulated...


OK, I'll say bye to all readers (if there are some...)



Bye bye!!! See ya later :*
xxx
Fuzz

one VERY long week...

Hi! It's me again, the fuzzy critter, who drives you crazy with it's meaningless thoughts!

Ok... What's first? I DON'T really know... This week was so complicated... yep... It's Tuesday now... that's why I am saying it's complicated.

I have a lot of questions, which answers cannot be found. Why? Just try to answer this one:

"What is the purpose of our existance? Our puropse is to exist? Or we are existing to find our purpose? Maybe the purpose of our existance is just fictional? Maybe there aren't any of them..."

I don't really know the answers... Life is very hard. Ypu fall ino life, just like ino abyss. And you don't know if you remain, or leave a part of yourself in this world. Thousands of people have died, while I was writing this sentence... Thousands of people, who died, thousands of dreams which will never come true. Maybe that's why people are saying that the life is endless suffering...

I'm feeling downcast, and this feeling is sqeezing inside me, and crushing every my rib, every my ossicle... And then, I will understand that there's nothing left from me... Just a shadow of a person, who exhisted few moments ago...

See... now you know why it's complicated...

Actually, I'm not a person, who is always cruying and always is upset, sad and extremley boring... Just these weeks were very complicated and hard for me, so...


OK! It's ENOUGH to talk about sad and complicated things. Let's talk about the good ones.

For example, last week was relased new MUSE video clip "Undosclosed Desires". It's AMAZING ;D I really love it. Matthew, Dominic and Chris are lookin' so freakin' gorgeous in this video!!!




What do you think? ;> I'm inlove with MUSE.

And I'm proud to be MUSE fan since 2006. When I saw "Starlight" video clip, I fell in love with Matthew Bellamy, his voice, Domimic Howard and Chris Wolstenholme!!!!! <3 AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF TWILIGHT!!! :P

I want to confess... I liked Twilight saga. But, I can reapet: "I LIKED". Now, it's just a story, books, a lot of crazy people, and some stuff like that (I saw Edward panties in internet... gross). Well... I have an intenet blog in which me amd my friends are putting some news about the movies. In the begining, it was fun. After few months (maybe 4... I liked it for 4 months, or maybe less...) it became a commonness thing. Just like the work, which is not quite nteresting for me... Maybe it's because of the bad comments after my posts (someone said that I'm... I won't say... I don't want to...). And, sorry all Twilight fans, R. Pattinson wasn't so handsome for me. I just don't like him... He's annoying me ;)

Oh, my... I'm feeling much better after this confession (I did the same in my real life diary)!!! God, bless all internet and real life diaries!! :D


But I don't wanna quit that thing with my twilight blog... I'm doing this because of people, who are visiting my blog (about 300 people everyday).

I'm an altruist. I always want the best for others. And more than usually, I forgot myself. I'm hiding my feelings when I'm sad or unhappy. I'm only crying when I'm alone. I just don't want to hurt others and show that something is wrong. I hate when someone's got sad just because I'm sad. I'm hiding all that "bad stuff" inside my heart. And when my heart is overflowed of bad emotions and feelings, then... you know... what happens then... I'm crying all night, and in the morning, I just dry my tears into my shirt's sleeve... then I'm feeling much better...


... "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT" says the text on my T-shirt. I like it. I remember, when I said this phrase to my sister, and, after few minutes, she made a T-shirt with it (we bought special textile art markers few months ago). I was surprised... She gave me them three months ago. That's so sweet.

I now, I know... I'm too sentimental... but... I am who I am. And i don't really wanna change myself.

I think I will made some shirts with other phrases, which I'm using very often =3

also, I made a lot of arthystical photos :D I will post them later...

...oh! just look at the time! (22:54) I really should go to bed... see you later!



kisses and HUGE hugs :* ,
Simona

la la la nonsense ;P

... I REALLY hate to say that, but I'm tired of everything. Stupid reapeateed life... Just like from my song. It's called 'Reapeted World'. Another is 'Untouchable Star' and 'Sea of tranquility'. These songs are my favourites from my very long list of songs :)

Also, I DON'T really like when people think, that I'm calm and slow. What can I say? I'm NOT :P It's bullshit and bollocks! (sorry for these words) Actually, I'm very energetic, talkative, friendly and etc. People think like that, because I'm the veirdo at my school. In my class are some people which I don't really like to be in one room... Yes, I'm talking about taunting.... But I'm not a person, who would
give a prominence to that. I'm not like that...

Yep... What else? well I wrote another song (wooohooo) and I'm happy about that. I think that everyone would be happy just like me, if they write a new song :)

As always, i REALLY want to apologize about my grammar or writing mistakes. I'm from Lithuania (in Europe ;D near Latvia and Russia), so.... :) But I'm happy that I can write something at all. Not something, actually. I can write what's on my mind in English. I think that's quite goodthing, don't you think like that? :)
Oh, I forgot to tell you, that I'm writing songs ONLY in English. I couldn't write something Lithuanian... I'm afraid to say, but I understand English much better than Lithuanian! Well... I read somewhere that Lithuanian language is in the 3rd place of world's hardest languages (I don't know if it's true..)! Oh my...
if you think I'm wring try to tell this sentence correctly in Lithuanian:

šešios žąsys su šešiais žąsyčiais :) (Translation: Six goose with six gosling)


what's next? Oh... yes, the Halloween. It's not very popular thing in my country... I really wanted to have a Halloween party and make fake wound, but.... It was impossible... I was wasting my time in the internet... because no-one wanted to make tha party... Well... I'll wait 'till next year.

I wanted to say something, but I forgot. I think you are so tired of my stupid thoughts, aren't you? (if there are some people who are reading my meaningless thoughts...)


Thanks for reading... I will write something more later. Maybe today... or not :P



bye bye bye and HUGE hugs from me!!!!!
Fuzz
(Simona is my real name ;D)

Hi!!!!

Hi again! I haven't written here for ages! I was just too busy and tired... Well... what happened in those days? Nothing really good...


Three weeks ago, I didn't know what's the feeling, when you realise that your biggest dream is broken... Yep... now I know that feeling very well... Too bad that it won't come true, but everyone says, that hope dies the last... I don't really know if it can come true... But I will answer this question only in my last minute of my life... But I don't want to talk about that... I just don't wanna feel sad again, and start crying...

Two weeks ago, I decided to change my life... Everything... But I haven't done anything yet... The most paradoxical thing is that I've changed my myspace, facebook and other sites accounts... erm... facebook is a piece of crap (sorry facebook lovers...) i'm tired of people (espacialy the male), who are sending me friend requests. I don't say that I don't like that, but I have more than 70 friends there, and only 15 are women... Strange... But in my myspace I haven't got any friends. It sounded kinda dramatic, wasn't it? ;D So, you can add me on facebook or myspace. I will always accept your request (to find me on facebook, write my name and surname: Simona Jareckaite. For myspace, go to www.myspace.com/simonyte1994) :) I want to meet more people XD in facebook no one is writing to me ;( (dramatic... again!) I should stop writing like this, because my post will be just like the poor soap-opera...
'Oh, I'm so sad!! *falling tears*. No one wants to be my friend! *drying tears in the sleeve*, Nobody visits my blog! I'm so sad!!! Whyyyy???? *wailing very loud* I have no friends in this world! No one understands me!I'm not lost, I'm just undiscovered! But no one will discover me! *falls down of the factorie's chimney*' And then, one soul felt free, when a person died...

Yep... big changes.... I just want to do something useful in this World... I know... I'm just too young (I'm only 15 years old, but it makes no difference to me...). But I still want to do something useful in this World where I live in... I think, that I need to wait for my lucky moment. Then, I will change the World from top to the bottom. I just need to be more patient... To be patient and ready for the big World's changes...

A week ago, I catched an ill.... Not very impressive... high temperature (the highest I've ever had)... I don't want to remember the details.... And I'm still feeling exhausted because of those medicines, pills and stuff like that...

Yesterday.... I thought, that people probably lived in the Mars, very long time ago... I know, that's silly, but I just imagined the Earth when it will be the place where we couldn't live in... Just imagine: the Earth is changed. There isn't enough oxygen to breathe. The climate is changed. Everything what we had is damaged and destroyed... Thw view of our Earth would be just like in MUSE video clip 'Sing for absolution'. I think after hundread or thousand years. Everything will be just like in that video clip. People will fly to the Earth, where people lived long time ago, and thy will see, that we damaged our home. And then just left it... And that view reminds me the view of Mars... Don't you think like that?

I will put the video of wonderful MUSE song, Sing for absolution:




There were some comments which were exactly what I'm saying now! Wow, there are people, who thinks just like me. Maybe, I'm not a veirdo.... Who cares :P

...yes, we will destroy our Earth, just like people, who lived in Mars very long time ago. I think, in my theory, there is a tithe of true. I think, that people lived in Mars. And anyone can't deny it, because there weren't and archeological analysis, so...


few minutes ago... I was googling everything, that I thought about... my name, my surname, cat, umbrella, Matthew Bellamy, gorgeous, music, Muse, Dominic Howard, drummer, guitar, Chris Wolstenholme, world, planet, mars.... And I've found something VERY interesting about Mars... Tou can watch its surface and elevation!

OMG! (or OMM-oh my muse, OMMB-oh my matthew ballamy... and something like that...)
I thought that little children won't want to become astronauts, bacause they just can google it and watch everything online or with google earth... And in the future the number of astronauts could have been decreased (or maybe not.. dunno). The internet is very important thing today... It can do almost everything!.. I'm wondering why it can't launder my socks... I don't actually know, maybe afer two or more years it will do that... who knows...


if you interested of watching Mars online, go to this site in that page, you will see the elevation of Mars... I'm not against the new technologies. It's cool... But sometimes I'm wondering what will be nex?... What will happen in our Universe? In our home, in the Earth?..


few seconds ago... I'm trying to figure out, what is the purpose of my exhistance... interesting... Maybe the purpose of my exhistance is to exhist? Or maybe it is to find ou it? Or just wait for something? Go straight on the groud and don't know if there is a big hole afer few steps... Maybe I will fall... Maybe I will survive... This is the beauty of the life...

...

Heya!!!!


I'm a song writing maschine! :) I wrote another song wooohooo :)
And whole 10 minutes I was voting for MUSE. VOTE, Refresh, VOTE, Refresh, VOTE, Refresh... and all 10 minutes!!!! Wow :) I think they deserved to win the award. Their album 'The Resistance' is EPIC and AMAZING and MORE :) I can't find the words to describe the feeling when I'm listening to this EPIC album! I'm always crying when I'm listening to Exosenesis! It's the most amazing thing which MUSE have ever done! This is PURE GOLD!!! I don't know how to describe... When I'm listening to Exosenesis symphonie, I always see theese things in front of my eyes:


Exogenesis symphony part I (Overture)
The world is beautiful, secretive and so natural and unique. The sun is shining in the sky, the flowers and grass, green trees are so beautiful. Loveley animals, enjoying their lifes. The song is so secretive, just like our Earth, but we still want to know everything and be the smartest in the World...


Exogenesis symphony part II (Cross-pollination)
(In the begining) You can see the beauty of Nature, but then this beauty fades away and you see the mad world. Everything is black, sad, the sky is red. You are "Waiting for toxic clouds". Then All people who survived must go to the paceship and fly in unnkown planet, which is somewhere in the universe. When Matthew is singing theese words: "Tell us.. Tell us.. Tell us your final wish we will tell it to the Earth" I see that people are leaving the Earth, because it will explode at any time. And then... the moment of truth... it's gone...


Exogenesis symphony part III (Redemption)
You're in the spaceship and you are watching the cosmic dusts, which were our home, the Earth... And now... There's nothing left. All our hystory was deleted. And the last prove of our past lifes are our memories. Then music turns into optymisic way and you start to feel the hope. "Why can't we start it over again..." sings Matthew. And you are still watching the cosmic dusts which were your home. And then you see all hystory passing backwards through your eyes, until that moment when, billions of years before, the Earth was only the cosmic dusts. The people have landed on new unknown planet, you still can see those pieces of our past life in the space. That's hurting your feelings, but you are doing your first step in this planet, which will be called as 'The new home'. At the end of the song, you can see that other people are looking in that side where was the Earth. They don't care about that they have landed in the planet. The only one thing you can do now, is to think that we will "start it over again and we will be good... This time we will get it... get it right... This is our last chance to forgive ourselves". And you can see the tears, falling from their [the people] cheeks. And then, you feel, that the warm tear is rolling down your cold cheek. And you know, that there's nothing to change, there's no way back ,there's nothing... only the unknown planet and the cosmic dusts, which were your life. A place, where you lived, a place where you have grown up, a place where was all humanities hopes and dreams... There was our hystory, which is gone... And we haven't sloved the secret of our Earth and Nature...


...We must to save our earth!
The meaningless thoughts wtitten by Simona Jareckaite

... hi?..

Well... yep. Hello again. I haven't written here for ages! (actualy.... 3 days...) Well... something is just the same, but something is not. At school I had a very good time with my best friends. That was fun! Well two of my friends have got sick (poor girls...). I was thinking that my best friends (who are not sick right now) and I could visit them. I don't actually know why we haven't talked about that before (or maybe they were talking about that, but I was dreaming or thinking about.... :) MUSE)
I have wrote a song a few minutes ago. And today I've wrote one perfect tune with piano, which is perfect for my another song :) Also I was playing with my gorgeous guitar and now my fingers are so hurtin'. But WHO CARES!!!!!! :D

This is my gorgeous guitar:





Well... I could write some words from my songs, but..... NAH..... :D I'm SO AFRAID of singing alone in the public or singing my own songs. Singing MUSE songs in public would be A PIECE OF CAKE XD Too simple for me. I could walk in the shop and sing: "We will be VICTORIOUS" or "I want to reconcile the violence in your heart", "No chance for fate, it's unnatural selection I WANT THE TRUTH", "All of history deleted with one stroke", "Faith, It drives me away, But it turns me on. Like a stranger's love" and much more MUSE songs :)


And for the end.... (drums, please)... Thee video of today is...:)

The very famous Matthew Bellamy "Shuffle dance" WOOOOHOOOO!!!!!



P.S. Vote for MUSE on WWW.MTVEMA.COM :) you can vote more than once! I was voting all 10 minutes XD I'm REALLY obsessed. But I don't need the doctor, I'm enjoying this obesseion :D



...Sometimes I'm thinking that I'm a veirdo... Write me if I'm wrong....




Cheers!
And thanks for reading

Hi everyone... my first post about...... something.... I guess....

Well... I started writing my meaningless thoughts and events that hapened to me. Well... sharing my feelings with people wich I don't even know, seems quite stupid and strange (because I have my own diary... in the REAL world... yep, the ones, who are made from paper, not with stupid HTML codes). Everyone says: Don't trust others... I don't know what I'm talkin' about. From my grammar mistakes, you can see that I'm not from countries where people are speaking English all the time. Yes, my dear friends, I'm from Lithuania. The most annoying thing is that MOST of people doesn't know where it locates...


Anyway, I wnat to thank for my readers (if there are some of them), to the God for this wonderful day, to MTV, for showing MTV VMA awards again, to my favourite band - MUSE (I love you guys SO MUCH!!!! Kisses ;D :* ), and.... I don't know.... I'm happy that I'm here, doing things that I like and being free to share my thoughts with everyone...


Yep, now, I think, I will finish my writing. See you in the next posts!!!!



kisses :* ^.^ <3
Simona




(...or Osmina, or FUZZ, or something like that. You can even create my new nickname)