one VERY long week...

Hi! It's me again, the fuzzy critter, who drives you crazy with it's meaningless thoughts!

Ok... What's first? I DON'T really know... This week was so complicated... yep... It's Tuesday now... that's why I am saying it's complicated.

I have a lot of questions, which answers cannot be found. Why? Just try to answer this one:

"What is the purpose of our existance? Our puropse is to exist? Or we are existing to find our purpose? Maybe the purpose of our existance is just fictional? Maybe there aren't any of them..."

I don't really know the answers... Life is very hard. Ypu fall ino life, just like ino abyss. And you don't know if you remain, or leave a part of yourself in this world. Thousands of people have died, while I was writing this sentence... Thousands of people, who died, thousands of dreams which will never come true. Maybe that's why people are saying that the life is endless suffering...

I'm feeling downcast, and this feeling is sqeezing inside me, and crushing every my rib, every my ossicle... And then, I will understand that there's nothing left from me... Just a shadow of a person, who exhisted few moments ago...

See... now you know why it's complicated...

Actually, I'm not a person, who is always cruying and always is upset, sad and extremley boring... Just these weeks were very complicated and hard for me, so...


OK! It's ENOUGH to talk about sad and complicated things. Let's talk about the good ones.

For example, last week was relased new MUSE video clip "Undosclosed Desires". It's AMAZING ;D I really love it. Matthew, Dominic and Chris are lookin' so freakin' gorgeous in this video!!!




What do you think? ;> I'm inlove with MUSE.

And I'm proud to be MUSE fan since 2006. When I saw "Starlight" video clip, I fell in love with Matthew Bellamy, his voice, Domimic Howard and Chris Wolstenholme!!!!! <3 AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF TWILIGHT!!! :P

I want to confess... I liked Twilight saga. But, I can reapet: "I LIKED". Now, it's just a story, books, a lot of crazy people, and some stuff like that (I saw Edward panties in internet... gross). Well... I have an intenet blog in which me amd my friends are putting some news about the movies. In the begining, it was fun. After few months (maybe 4... I liked it for 4 months, or maybe less...) it became a commonness thing. Just like the work, which is not quite nteresting for me... Maybe it's because of the bad comments after my posts (someone said that I'm... I won't say... I don't want to...). And, sorry all Twilight fans, R. Pattinson wasn't so handsome for me. I just don't like him... He's annoying me ;)

Oh, my... I'm feeling much better after this confession (I did the same in my real life diary)!!! God, bless all internet and real life diaries!! :D


But I don't wanna quit that thing with my twilight blog... I'm doing this because of people, who are visiting my blog (about 300 people everyday).

I'm an altruist. I always want the best for others. And more than usually, I forgot myself. I'm hiding my feelings when I'm sad or unhappy. I'm only crying when I'm alone. I just don't want to hurt others and show that something is wrong. I hate when someone's got sad just because I'm sad. I'm hiding all that "bad stuff" inside my heart. And when my heart is overflowed of bad emotions and feelings, then... you know... what happens then... I'm crying all night, and in the morning, I just dry my tears into my shirt's sleeve... then I'm feeling much better...


... "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT" says the text on my T-shirt. I like it. I remember, when I said this phrase to my sister, and, after few minutes, she made a T-shirt with it (we bought special textile art markers few months ago). I was surprised... She gave me them three months ago. That's so sweet.

I now, I know... I'm too sentimental... but... I am who I am. And i don't really wanna change myself.

I think I will made some shirts with other phrases, which I'm using very often =3

also, I made a lot of arthystical photos :D I will post them later...

...oh! just look at the time! (22:54) I really should go to bed... see you later!



kisses and HUGE hugs :* ,
Simona