End of the First Semester and its Results (so far)

the library building on campus

Yay! The first semester at uni has ended, all assessments are handed in; all I have now is the wait for the results.
This week is a reading week and the following one is a SONVA winter festival and we'll have loads of workshops and inductions that are mandatory. For the reading week we've been given some texts to read before the module starts after two weeks. These texts are basically about linguistics, semiotic language, signs and pre-symbolic meanings in the culture and art. Heavy stuff. Especially when my first language is not English, but it's the day number two and I'm already halfway through! YAY for me!!

I also had to write an essay 2500-3000 words long. If I get a good mark, I'll be MORE than glad!
Below I am sharing a song I had to mix for Creative Recording, Production and Performance module at the uni. We've been put into all female and all male bands (all female ones don't work... seriously) and we had to write one song, record and make our own version of the song with DAW (digital audio workstation) software and we write a supporting documentation (1000 words) about the creative use of technology ans the process of the song-writing. Mixing was hard as the girl whose vocals I used could not sing properly, so I had to split almost every word and make the lower notes sound louder. Tiring! But yeah, hopefully my tutors will like this.

My 100th Post

It's my 100th post and maybe this should be some kind of anniversary.

So many things have happened in four years time, and I feel old to be honest.
There are some posts still unpublished or reverted into drafts. Maybe they were too personal or the idea of publishing them seemed quite irrelevant after time.

In late 2009 when I started writing this blog, I was some middle-class teenager suffering from premature existential crisis, a girl whose existence didn't mean anything to others, a person who hoped for better. Back then, I wouldn't even thought that I'll become a person I am right now. I just wanted to have my own space where I could write my thoughts no matter who read this, no matter how awful my English was.

When I think, 100 posts in four years are too few. I hope when I move abroad later this year, my life will become more interesting and eventually I'll have some interesting topics or events to talk about.
Anyways, I'm glad I didn't forget this blog in four years and hopefully I never will.





You all say I've crossed the line 
But the sad fact is I've lost my mind

But I'm just getting started let me offend 
The devil's got nothing on me my friend 
All i want is to be left alone 
Attack from me is like blood from a stone.


Hugs,
Simona-Fuzz

Long Time No See

the view from my room's window

It's been quite a while. Today I promised myself to write here more often, starting from now.
I already hate winter. There's too much snow in my town. I caught a massive cold and I feel like I might cough my lungs out. Besides, the christmas spirit has forgotten me again and I still feel like it's october now.

Few weeks ago, I've been visited by my old 'friend' - insomnia. I couldn't sleep for two weeks. Finally, it's all gone, although this must have been one of the side-effects of the medication I'm taking. Fortunately, all the awful side-effects are almost gone as my body is getting used to the meds.

However it is, I'm not going to talk about my problems, although it is a part of my life that makes me who I am. You know, everything in our lives is connected - it all adds up and makes us who we are right now.
We shouldn't be ashamed of what is happening in our lives (I'm pretty sure I'm quoting somebody I cannot remember right now).

so... yeah...

S.x

Fuzz at Bike Festival

The festival took place near my town (in Astravas manor) and started on 17th August (the day I was taking my TOEFL iBT) and lasted for three days. My dad had two spare tickets, so my sister and I went with him the following day.
At first I wasn't sure about this idea, I mean, I remembered all those stereotypes which are usually applied to bikers in the movies and/or in the popular culture. But I've decided to give it a shot as I believe most of the stereotypes turn out to be false.
And I am glad I was right.
Bikers are very interesting people with distinctive lifestyle. It's exciting to see motorbikes roaring through the streets and watching how they look after their steel horses. 

Festival program I found on the internet

Bikers near Astravas manor

Me posing near one of the motorbikes

Festival goers - my dad, me and my sister.

It's actually amazing how they organize such festivals in different places every year, gathering bikers from various countries allowing anyone to take a glance at their life and be a part of their festival.

The festival was great. It had live music and a good vibe - an essential ingredients for a successful event.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see the bikers' golf tournament the next day, though I really wanted to. Hope they had fun.

Kind of a cliche moment - Wild and Free - a lion, an eagle and a motorbike.

Legendary band - Polarized Glasses (Poliarizuoti Stklai). My dad loved listening to them back in 80s.

The host of the festival - a guy with awesome mustache (probably fake).

There were various competitions for bikers, such as making motorbike from old vehicle parts and the most beautiful bike contest when everyone was able to vote for their personal favourite.

Motorbike made by Estonians,..

 ...by Latvians...

... and by Lithuanians

I gave my vote for this bike in the most beautiful bike contest

Let's face it - my hometown was chosen because the whole region is renowned for its old beer brewing traditions. But I'm not complaining. It was inevitable not to drink it as it was the only option if you were thirsty.

Cheers! 

Warm and furry regards,

Fuzz.

I'm Back (Again)!

It's been a quite busy summer. I had to prepare for an English test I took about a week and a half ago and I still don't know the results. The test is essential in order to study in the UK. So, all I did was learning 24/7 and having short trips or a-la parties for relaxation. The result? I'm starting to forget my own language, especially the grammar. It's ironic how a person living in the same country for 18 years can forget the language used everyday. What is more, it's all happening on my senior year of high school. AND I'll be taking Lithuanian language exam, so I'll probably have some inconveniences as well, but WHO CARES? :)

That's all from me for now.
S.

Everything's Ironic, Really!

a picture I took in the stairwell of the block of flats where I live.

Right now my old TV is playing Eurovision songs in the background. And I'm not really fond of it.
I still cannot forget the fact that some prick with childish handwriting carved the word "jedward" on my stairwell's door. And that I have to see it every time I get out of my flat... awful

I've been so messed up that I didn't even notice when my grey hometown became green.
You know, when you're depressed you tend to not see things happening around you. You just... live and basically that's it.

Yesterday I heard in the news that the winner of Lithuania's international golf championship became a thirteen year old kid . Weird, isn't it?  The thing is that Swedish man who was in the lead and who is twice as old as that kid disqualified himself (YES, himself) after he told that he's been practicing illegally at nights in the golf court where the championship took the place. What is more, that kid hardly holds the golf stick, so, my dear golf playing friends, I suggest visiting Lithuania and trying to win this golf championship (Of course, I've got nothing against the kid. I know, in the future he'll be great).

There are only two weeks left until the start of my summer vacation! I cannot bloody wait!

Oh, and I'm still working on my of my own songs' demo tracks which I'll send to universities in the UK. I sometimes think that I tend to overdo things that are really important to me. On this case, I'm trying to make my demos THE best in the world (Quite hard task to do, huh?)

Ok, that's all from me now!
Take care!
S. x

Madness of Autumn, 2010: Ouija board

hahaha I remember how it all begun.
I was really obsessed about idea of contacting souls from other worlds with a help of Ouija board.
I really wanted to get one. You know, forbidden and mysterious things always keep me going...
Maybe it was because I am.. erm... sorta strange(?)
All that magic and future casting stuff.... Inspiring and mysterious.
So, I was really ready to get one (my sister wanted either) but then I realized that dealing with souls with a limited knowledge of what you're doing isn't such a good idea. As long as I don't know any person who would know about that (internet is loaded with different advices and stuff).
So anyways, I'd LOVE to participate in real spiritualism séance (with or without Ouija board) just to see how it works. OR talk to someone personally about the experiences in this sphere. Maybe it's because I am having a way too boring life and want to add some spices to it. Maybe I just had watched too much old 20's silent films

But... I don't like the thing that people in other countries can get the Ouija board at toys' store as long as spirits aren't any toy...


xxx
Fuzz

Things will get better soon, won't they?

"Sometimes I feel so fucked up with everything. I am so tired of failing, feeling sadness... When will this period of darkness end? Sometimes, or more likely, usually, I start laughing. Not because it's funny; I laugh of despair. My laugh is filled with sadness because I do not know what to do..."

"Believe. Believe in the future," somebody has said to me..

These were short extracts from my real-life diary.

... and this song is in my head right now. Don't know why but it keeps me feeling positive about everything

Smith Westerns - All Die Young

Utopia of my town: Indie boys

What I would do if there would be some indie guys in my town?!?
Sadly, but there won't...
even after hundreads of years...
Every guy here is... erm... oh dear. I can't even describe.... most of them are wearing tracksuits, listening to dumb remixes, swearing. They like girls who are obsessed with town's "popculture"; they avoid the different ones and if the person loves rock music, they say she's a killer or a person who soon will commit suicide (...I had experienced some insults about the music I like and they were calling me a killer. Even if I don't listen to death metal... yet)....

Someone had said: 'Being different means being yourself, standing for your own views and beliefes. However, it is hazardous to your health and emotions. Being yourself is a difficult task when most of people fail...'

OK, that 'someone' is me...