Things will get better soon, won't they?

"Sometimes I feel so fucked up with everything. I am so tired of failing, feeling sadness... When will this period of darkness end? Sometimes, or more likely, usually, I start laughing. Not because it's funny; I laugh of despair. My laugh is filled with sadness because I do not know what to do..."

"Believe. Believe in the future," somebody has said to me..

These were short extracts from my real-life diary.

... and this song is in my head right now. Don't know why but it keeps me feeling positive about everything

Smith Westerns - All Die Young

'till you're superpowerless...

Sunday, 14th November, 2010. 1:25pm. Freaking cold. Drinking 4th cup of tea. Soon it will be my 5th cup. Tea almost lost it's flavour. I think I'll add one more teabag in cup. Or I'll change the cup...
I wanna eat chocolate. There isn't any...... I ate it yesterday when I had the so-called 'Bad Hair Day'
My room is total mess. I like that. But my mom doesn't. I don't care after all...
I wish the time would go slower... So, what can you find on my table? keys, phone, mp3 player, thermometer, lots of tissures, papers, two books, old magazines, gloves, black nail polish, a banana, scissors, air heater, photocamera, loads of wires, pen, pins, two cups, brushes, loads of other stuff...

my 5th cup of tea

one song is stuck in my head... It fits my mood perfectly. It's 'Superpowerless' by The Kills...

Take a drink of my red wine
I've got enough to go around,
Take a drink of mine
I've got enough to go around.

'Till you're drunk 'till you're high 'tlil you're fake, 'tlil you're crushed.

Come into my shipwreck
Half the time we just sit around,
Talkin' shit over sour milk
Waitin' for the rain to come down.

'Till you're drunk 'till you're high 'till you're fake 'till you're crushed 'till you're red 'till you're superpowerless.

Take the weight off my mind
I got enough to slow you down,
Take a cut of mine-oh-mine
I've got enough to go around.
Leave me when you're giving in
when you're last little lie is out,
I'll show you just how dark it gets
When the sun really does go down.

'Till you're drunk 'till you're high 'till you're fake 'till you're crushed 'till you're red 'till you're superpowerless.

'Till you're drunk 'till you're high 'till you're fake 'till you're crushed 'till you're dead 'till you're superpowerless.

Everythiiiing is okaaayy
If everythiiiing stays the saaaame.

'Till you're drunk 'till you're high 'till you're fake 'till you're crushed 'till you're red 'till you're superpowerless.