How Uni Life Influeced Me So Far

keep munchin' them brownies! hahaa

With the first year done and all grades received, I can discuss what major lessons this year has learnt me.

1. I became a bit more feminist. Not in a bad way (I don't think there is a bad feminism, but I might be wrong). I just took into consideration some gender-related issues (both in music and life) and became more aware of gender inequalities. This must be influenced by my essay research on female punk rockers who were subverting the dominant imagery of a female in both everyday life and music.

And being a feminist doesn't mean being all-naturalist, men hating bra burner. That's a stereotype, dear readers. I am just aware of inequalities, especially when it comes to music industry when people presume you are less skilled just because you are a female.

2. My tutors are my friends. It does sound odd, but they actually want to get along with you. Some of them can be grumpy at some point, but, they are AWESOME.

3. Marmite. It is a love or hate thing. But marmite on a toast with butter and mature English cheddar cheese is a ticket to heaven. 

4. "You're the first European I met who drinks so much tea. You're not only good in English, but you're also good at being English" my ex-flatmate once told me. This explains it all.

5. Chips with salt and vinegar. Chippies in Falmouth are amazing! I don't understand how people cannot like chips with salt and vinegar!

6. Midnight trips to library are awesome. The library on campus works 24/7, so if I'm bored I can go to the library and read the most random books I can find.

7. CORNISH PASTIES. pasties, pasties, pasties!!! The best thing ever. 

8. Creativity and weirdness is good. Being creative, weird and different is AWESOME!! Though it makes you feel lonely sometimes...

9. My English language has improved. Quite a few people said that. Haven't noticed the improvement though.

10. Student halls will hold a special place in my heart. Yep, the nostalgia, 3am fire drills and general student'ness.

11. Stereotypes are true. Especially about Eastern Europeans. Vodka shots taste like water to me. Enough said. haha

12. Jacket potatoes. With cheese and beans. Cheese first, please.

13. I've actually did good at uni this year. Four firsts and two 2:1s. NICE

14. Hanging out with mates. Guys, to be more precise. Less drama and more fun. Love hanging out with guys. 

I Have Survived Another Xmas

YES! I have nearly survived my 19th Christmas! Good one.

Just before Christmas I had my wisdom tooth extracted. My face was swollen, I couldn't eat and it hurt like hell. But I was fine on the 25th. Call it Christmas miracle, if you want.

Today I finished taking my antibiotics prescribed after the surgery. 

This meant only one thing - BEER AND CORNISH PASTIES (the ones I brought home from the UK).

I suddenly felt weird when I realized that in one week's time I'll be back in the UK. 

S.x

Leaving Home Country

My flight is tomorrow at 7:40 (LT time) in the morning.
I'm sort of scared. Maybe it's because of the sudden changes. Or just a general fear that disappears once I've reached the destination.
So, at 9 in the morning (UK time) I'll be in Bristol airport. So, if by any chance you'll be there as well, go ahead and say hi to me! This obviously won't happen, but anyways...

The next post will be from the UK.

..and here are some photos of my hometown I took a few weeks ago.

... and the song is SO SEXY <3

Where Is My Mind?

I know I've been absent though I sort of promised to post more frequently.
I've been procrastinating, thinking about my life, or sometimes even avoiding to think altogether.
I've been accepted at Falmouth university, booked a flight, train tickets, hotel,... Almost everything is done, I only have to wait to be accepted to live on campus.
People would say what's wrong with me then.
I wish I could know.
Maybe the fear of the future has something to do with this, yet my feelings are blunted.
My course starts on 23rd September, so I have one month left to be here. But I think getting out of my home country would improve my life somehow. Don't ask me how.

The Morning Fog

I took this photo in early Saturday morning at about five in the morning.

And the song below fits the photo so perfectly! Even though I was listening to different song at that time.

I'm actually doing a series of photographs, called 'My Little Dead Hometown' where I take photos of my hometown, of the real hometown. Just the way I see it.
If I have enough courage, I'll upload even more photos I've taken.





p.s. I've added a new page about Lifescouts Badges.

Hugs,
S.

School times. Remembered

With the celebration of my school graduation day (or a prom), I've decided to share some of the photos taken during those twelve school years.

Unfortunately, there aren't THAT many photos (unlike some of my classmates' facebook photo albums, ha ha!) - those years weren't always the easiest for me, so I didn't have an intention to memorize them all. But I'm glad I've survived. Somewhat.

To be honest, I didn't want to go to the event but I had to take my graduation diploma so that I can send its photocopy to my university. The whole event is mostly about boasting; it's a paradise for show-offs and pretenders. Despite them, I did enjoy the event.

AND most importantly I'VE FINALLY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL!!!!

So here are the photos:

My first year at my first school. I'm the tallest one in the last row

A photo of my ex classmate and me at my first school
when I was fifteen, or something...
This one's embarrassing...

The same year. Took all those when I was in the artistic mood. And YES, my first school looked like that before the renovation.

Halloween at my new school, 2011. I was a make-up artist of the event.

A photo from Song and Dance festival in 2012

Photos from another 'being inspired at school' series.

These are the photos of the 'Last Bell' celebration. It's basically a day when an event is held for senior highs, during which everyone is crying and continuously reminding you that you're old, and those times spent at school will never come back. I felt weird when everyone around me was crying their eyes out while I didn't. Why would I cry? For leaving a place where I didn't feel good? No, thanks!

A photo of my class, obviously...

The first page of yearbook of 89th graduates and teachers.

Yesterday's photos

FUCK YEAH!!!

With my lovely sister

Afterparty

That's all from me for now!

Take care.x

Musical Guilty (Secret) Pleasures

We all have some. Even I do.
It's strange that something we like must be hidden and/or we are ashamed of telling others about them. Probably this keeps us going - it's as same as when we were children and had our own so-called 'Secret Places' no-one knew. Maybe it's because of the thrill we get when we are secretive and have something nobody knows about.
Although, we shouldn't be ashamed of our likes no matter how weird or awkwardly disturbing they are. Because only the odds make a person an unique individual.
So, I thought it's time for me to open up a bit and reveal some of my more 'normal' guilty musical pleasures out of my countless list (I'll keep others to myself, though), and if you want, you can share your musical guilty pleasures, too.

1. Metal/Trash Metal. I absolutely love these genres. But somehow I cannot find the gut to admit that...
The song in my mind: Lost Society - Kill (Those Who Oppose Me).

2. Limp Bizkit. It's weird, because I don't like Nu-Metal, but this band... A total guilty pleasure. I love headbanging while listening to these aggressively energetic songs.
The song in my mind: Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff.

3. Wild Beasts. I got hooked on them after 'Brave Bulging Buoyant Clairvoyants'. They are amazing, yet everyone don't like them, or at least don't know them. Their lyrics... the music and the frontman's voice... amazing.
The song in my mind: Wild Beasts - Bed of Nails.

4. Tom Waits. Honestly, it's not a guilty pleasure, but some people don't seem to understand him. The song 'Christmas Card Fromm A Hooker In Minneapolis' and so does the rest of the songs always give me a weird feeling  that makes me want to sit in an old fashioned wingback chair in front of a fireplace, with a glass of bourbon in one hand and with a cigarette in another, and listen to his music playing in the background. Weirdly, I somehow like this feeling... His songs are deep and sad; he definitely speaks for those whose voices aren't heard...
The song in my mind: Tom Waits - I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You.


This is goodnight, Vienna from Simona...
Take care!x

Dusk Is Like A Dagger

'Dusk is like a dagger that suffocates our lives '

I don't know why, but I somewhat like 80s darkwave music. So deep and dark, yet beautifully inspiring.
This song reminds me of long sleepless summer nights spent philosophizing about the life. Even now I'm doing so. And I feel a huge urge to do something unusual with my life, something I would remember for a very long time. Sadly, I do not know what...

I love staying up all night as my favourite moment of the day is the time when night and morning collide - a time when you cannot say, if it's early morning or late night. When the town is in countless hues of grey, when I can hear and feel things I don't usually experience during the day, when the inspiration awakes, and the thought of being the only person who is not sleeping makes me feel a bit special.





Tonight I want to stay with you 
Tonight I want to play with you 
Tonight I want to dance with you 
Tonight I want to lie with you tonight 

New Blog's Background And New Beginnings

With my very last exam I took yesterday, my very last school's summer holidays have practically started. All I need is to attend a graduation ceremony and receive my diploma. And that's it! I'm free from school forever.

So, with lots of free time, I decided to finally change blog's design. Nothing molto grande, but at least I've managed to change colour schemes alongside with font and, obviously, the background.
I have some ideas for future posts, and this summer might be quite prosperous time for the blog. I hope.

I've decided to start summer season by watching one of my favourite band's concert I haven't seen in ages. Therefore, I'm going to watch it right now.

Bye!x

Joe Strummer! FTW

Last Year Of Teenage Kicks Or: Happy Birthday To Me

It's 4th of June and it's my birthday!

So, I'm nineteen. The last year of teenage kicks. This idea makes me rethink my life and make a list of things I ought to do this year.

It's 1:17am. I hope I'll have exceptionally great time. After what I've been put through, I think today I deserve at least a one fucking good day!

My 100th Post

It's my 100th post and maybe this should be some kind of anniversary.

So many things have happened in four years time, and I feel old to be honest.
There are some posts still unpublished or reverted into drafts. Maybe they were too personal or the idea of publishing them seemed quite irrelevant after time.

In late 2009 when I started writing this blog, I was some middle-class teenager suffering from premature existential crisis, a girl whose existence didn't mean anything to others, a person who hoped for better. Back then, I wouldn't even thought that I'll become a person I am right now. I just wanted to have my own space where I could write my thoughts no matter who read this, no matter how awful my English was.

When I think, 100 posts in four years are too few. I hope when I move abroad later this year, my life will become more interesting and eventually I'll have some interesting topics or events to talk about.
Anyways, I'm glad I didn't forget this blog in four years and hopefully I never will.





You all say I've crossed the line 
But the sad fact is I've lost my mind

But I'm just getting started let me offend 
The devil's got nothing on me my friend 
All i want is to be left alone 
Attack from me is like blood from a stone.


Hugs,
Simona-Fuzz

Fate Up Against Your Will

Photo of soviet apartment block I took yesterday.

I've realized something I've been scared to say out loud. I need to get out of my hometown. The sooner the better. I cannot feel happy in here. However, it's a nice place. For a short annual visit only; to remember what made me who I am now, to feel the post-soviet spirit floating in the air and be around people who are always unhappy. Believe me, after almost 19 years of being in the same place makes you at least anxious, or dead inside, or both, or even worse. It's like a pond that says still and slowly turns into a swamp. It's not my best metaphor, to be honest. Maybe it's just me, and my peers are completely fine. But not me. I think my artistic nature is behind this. Artists think and over-think, they are more sensitive about things that are going on around them.

People here are still suffering from stereotypes and shadows of the past and for those like me it's really hard to fit in. Inevitably, different people will be misunderstood. I can say from my own experience, it is really hard to survive the pressure of a small town. Only the few make it. I have almost two months left and I'll say goodbye to school. I'll differ from others and won't suffer the existential crisis after graduating from school-I've suffered it when I was about 13 or so. Maybe I still am, or maybe no-one suffers that phenomenon at all. If so, then their lives are boring (no offence).

On My Windowsill

My cactus has decided it's already spring. I wouldn't write about this, but it's the year number two when it decided to blossom. As a result, I'm excited about this.

There Were Times....

Me and my sister in our blanket tent

...when we used to make houses, forts or tents out of blankets, bed sheets and other things we were able to find around us at home. We built them anywhere in our houses, or even outside if the weather was right.

...when our cats or dogs were our best friends who understood us like no-one else.

There were times when climbing into a tree was a no big deal; it was every kid's inevitable duty to do so.

We knew of no downfalls, the life was so simple and it was so easy to spark smiles in our faces. We were undamaged and didn't know how worse our lives can or will get in the future. It's funny how we all wanted to be grownups, and when we finally are, we don't really understand what's good about being one. Problems are equivalent to the age; they grow and get bigger as we grow.

Conclusion: I'm a nostalgic b*tch; I overthink and overphilosophize things.
Good for me.
This might be the result of my increased caffeine intake. OR I might be another Confucius, Hegel or Plato.
S. x

Fox Rosehill Gardens

There are around four gardens/parks in Falmouth, but my favourite (so far) is Fox Rosehill Gardens. The garden is huge, there are lots of different paths, and the nature is so beautiful! Palm trees, bamboos, random plants,  blossoming bushes and trees - you can spend the whole day just wandering around the place feeling like in a forest while hearing the chirping of birds.

I never knew I'm so fond of nature and especially palm trees...

Chirp chirp!
Fuzz. xxxx