My 100th Post

It's my 100th post and maybe this should be some kind of anniversary.

So many things have happened in four years time, and I feel old to be honest.
There are some posts still unpublished or reverted into drafts. Maybe they were too personal or the idea of publishing them seemed quite irrelevant after time.

In late 2009 when I started writing this blog, I was some middle-class teenager suffering from premature existential crisis, a girl whose existence didn't mean anything to others, a person who hoped for better. Back then, I wouldn't even thought that I'll become a person I am right now. I just wanted to have my own space where I could write my thoughts no matter who read this, no matter how awful my English was.

When I think, 100 posts in four years are too few. I hope when I move abroad later this year, my life will become more interesting and eventually I'll have some interesting topics or events to talk about.
Anyways, I'm glad I didn't forget this blog in four years and hopefully I never will.





You all say I've crossed the line 
But the sad fact is I've lost my mind

But I'm just getting started let me offend 
The devil's got nothing on me my friend 
All i want is to be left alone 
Attack from me is like blood from a stone.


Hugs,
Simona-Fuzz

I Literally CANNOT Get Enough Of This

I love this band. I Love the song. I love the video. I cannot get enough of them.
END OF THE STORY. 
Hard rock f*ck yeah!






Yeah buddy!
You've got one heck of a nerve
I ain't messing around here
You'll get what you deserve



KEEP ROCKIN' ON!
S. x

Fate Up Against Your Will

Photo of soviet apartment block I took yesterday.

I've realized something I've been scared to say out loud. I need to get out of my hometown. The sooner the better. I cannot feel happy in here. However, it's a nice place. For a short annual visit only; to remember what made me who I am now, to feel the post-soviet spirit floating in the air and be around people who are always unhappy. Believe me, after almost 19 years of being in the same place makes you at least anxious, or dead inside, or both, or even worse. It's like a pond that says still and slowly turns into a swamp. It's not my best metaphor, to be honest. Maybe it's just me, and my peers are completely fine. But not me. I think my artistic nature is behind this. Artists think and over-think, they are more sensitive about things that are going on around them.

People here are still suffering from stereotypes and shadows of the past and for those like me it's really hard to fit in. Inevitably, different people will be misunderstood. I can say from my own experience, it is really hard to survive the pressure of a small town. Only the few make it. I have almost two months left and I'll say goodbye to school. I'll differ from others and won't suffer the existential crisis after graduating from school-I've suffered it when I was about 13 or so. Maybe I still am, or maybe no-one suffers that phenomenon at all. If so, then their lives are boring (no offence).

On My Windowsill

My cactus has decided it's already spring. I wouldn't write about this, but it's the year number two when it decided to blossom. As a result, I'm excited about this.