one VERY long week...

Hi! It's me again, the fuzzy critter, who drives you crazy with it's meaningless thoughts!

Ok... What's first? I DON'T really know... This week was so complicated... yep... It's Tuesday now... that's why I am saying it's complicated.

I have a lot of questions, which answers cannot be found. Why? Just try to answer this one:

"What is the purpose of our existance? Our puropse is to exist? Or we are existing to find our purpose? Maybe the purpose of our existance is just fictional? Maybe there aren't any of them..."

I don't really know the answers... Life is very hard. Ypu fall ino life, just like ino abyss. And you don't know if you remain, or leave a part of yourself in this world. Thousands of people have died, while I was writing this sentence... Thousands of people, who died, thousands of dreams which will never come true. Maybe that's why people are saying that the life is endless suffering...

I'm feeling downcast, and this feeling is sqeezing inside me, and crushing every my rib, every my ossicle... And then, I will understand that there's nothing left from me... Just a shadow of a person, who exhisted few moments ago...

See... now you know why it's complicated...

Actually, I'm not a person, who is always cruying and always is upset, sad and extremley boring... Just these weeks were very complicated and hard for me, so...


OK! It's ENOUGH to talk about sad and complicated things. Let's talk about the good ones.

For example, last week was relased new MUSE video clip "Undosclosed Desires". It's AMAZING ;D I really love it. Matthew, Dominic and Chris are lookin' so freakin' gorgeous in this video!!!




What do you think? ;> I'm inlove with MUSE.

And I'm proud to be MUSE fan since 2006. When I saw "Starlight" video clip, I fell in love with Matthew Bellamy, his voice, Domimic Howard and Chris Wolstenholme!!!!! <3 AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF TWILIGHT!!! :P

I want to confess... I liked Twilight saga. But, I can reapet: "I LIKED". Now, it's just a story, books, a lot of crazy people, and some stuff like that (I saw Edward panties in internet... gross). Well... I have an intenet blog in which me amd my friends are putting some news about the movies. In the begining, it was fun. After few months (maybe 4... I liked it for 4 months, or maybe less...) it became a commonness thing. Just like the work, which is not quite nteresting for me... Maybe it's because of the bad comments after my posts (someone said that I'm... I won't say... I don't want to...). And, sorry all Twilight fans, R. Pattinson wasn't so handsome for me. I just don't like him... He's annoying me ;)

Oh, my... I'm feeling much better after this confession (I did the same in my real life diary)!!! God, bless all internet and real life diaries!! :D


But I don't wanna quit that thing with my twilight blog... I'm doing this because of people, who are visiting my blog (about 300 people everyday).

I'm an altruist. I always want the best for others. And more than usually, I forgot myself. I'm hiding my feelings when I'm sad or unhappy. I'm only crying when I'm alone. I just don't want to hurt others and show that something is wrong. I hate when someone's got sad just because I'm sad. I'm hiding all that "bad stuff" inside my heart. And when my heart is overflowed of bad emotions and feelings, then... you know... what happens then... I'm crying all night, and in the morning, I just dry my tears into my shirt's sleeve... then I'm feeling much better...


... "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT" says the text on my T-shirt. I like it. I remember, when I said this phrase to my sister, and, after few minutes, she made a T-shirt with it (we bought special textile art markers few months ago). I was surprised... She gave me them three months ago. That's so sweet.

I now, I know... I'm too sentimental... but... I am who I am. And i don't really wanna change myself.

I think I will made some shirts with other phrases, which I'm using very often =3

also, I made a lot of arthystical photos :D I will post them later...

...oh! just look at the time! (22:54) I really should go to bed... see you later!



kisses and HUGE hugs :* ,
Simona

la la la nonsense ;P

... I REALLY hate to say that, but I'm tired of everything. Stupid reapeateed life... Just like from my song. It's called 'Reapeted World'. Another is 'Untouchable Star' and 'Sea of tranquility'. These songs are my favourites from my very long list of songs :)

Also, I DON'T really like when people think, that I'm calm and slow. What can I say? I'm NOT :P It's bullshit and bollocks! (sorry for these words) Actually, I'm very energetic, talkative, friendly and etc. People think like that, because I'm the veirdo at my school. In my class are some people which I don't really like to be in one room... Yes, I'm talking about taunting.... But I'm not a person, who would
give a prominence to that. I'm not like that...

Yep... What else? well I wrote another song (wooohooo) and I'm happy about that. I think that everyone would be happy just like me, if they write a new song :)

As always, i REALLY want to apologize about my grammar or writing mistakes. I'm from Lithuania (in Europe ;D near Latvia and Russia), so.... :) But I'm happy that I can write something at all. Not something, actually. I can write what's on my mind in English. I think that's quite goodthing, don't you think like that? :)
Oh, I forgot to tell you, that I'm writing songs ONLY in English. I couldn't write something Lithuanian... I'm afraid to say, but I understand English much better than Lithuanian! Well... I read somewhere that Lithuanian language is in the 3rd place of world's hardest languages (I don't know if it's true..)! Oh my...
if you think I'm wring try to tell this sentence correctly in Lithuanian:

šešios žąsys su šešiais žąsyčiais :) (Translation: Six goose with six gosling)


what's next? Oh... yes, the Halloween. It's not very popular thing in my country... I really wanted to have a Halloween party and make fake wound, but.... It was impossible... I was wasting my time in the internet... because no-one wanted to make tha party... Well... I'll wait 'till next year.

I wanted to say something, but I forgot. I think you are so tired of my stupid thoughts, aren't you? (if there are some people who are reading my meaningless thoughts...)


Thanks for reading... I will write something more later. Maybe today... or not :P



bye bye bye and HUGE hugs from me!!!!!
Fuzz
(Simona is my real name ;D)

Hi!!!!

Hi again! I haven't written here for ages! I was just too busy and tired... Well... what happened in those days? Nothing really good...


Three weeks ago, I didn't know what's the feeling, when you realise that your biggest dream is broken... Yep... now I know that feeling very well... Too bad that it won't come true, but everyone says, that hope dies the last... I don't really know if it can come true... But I will answer this question only in my last minute of my life... But I don't want to talk about that... I just don't wanna feel sad again, and start crying...

Two weeks ago, I decided to change my life... Everything... But I haven't done anything yet... The most paradoxical thing is that I've changed my myspace, facebook and other sites accounts... erm... facebook is a piece of crap (sorry facebook lovers...) i'm tired of people (espacialy the male), who are sending me friend requests. I don't say that I don't like that, but I have more than 70 friends there, and only 15 are women... Strange... But in my myspace I haven't got any friends. It sounded kinda dramatic, wasn't it? ;D So, you can add me on facebook or myspace. I will always accept your request (to find me on facebook, write my name and surname: Simona Jareckaite. For myspace, go to www.myspace.com/simonyte1994) :) I want to meet more people XD in facebook no one is writing to me ;( (dramatic... again!) I should stop writing like this, because my post will be just like the poor soap-opera...
'Oh, I'm so sad!! *falling tears*. No one wants to be my friend! *drying tears in the sleeve*, Nobody visits my blog! I'm so sad!!! Whyyyy???? *wailing very loud* I have no friends in this world! No one understands me!I'm not lost, I'm just undiscovered! But no one will discover me! *falls down of the factorie's chimney*' And then, one soul felt free, when a person died...

Yep... big changes.... I just want to do something useful in this World... I know... I'm just too young (I'm only 15 years old, but it makes no difference to me...). But I still want to do something useful in this World where I live in... I think, that I need to wait for my lucky moment. Then, I will change the World from top to the bottom. I just need to be more patient... To be patient and ready for the big World's changes...

A week ago, I catched an ill.... Not very impressive... high temperature (the highest I've ever had)... I don't want to remember the details.... And I'm still feeling exhausted because of those medicines, pills and stuff like that...

Yesterday.... I thought, that people probably lived in the Mars, very long time ago... I know, that's silly, but I just imagined the Earth when it will be the place where we couldn't live in... Just imagine: the Earth is changed. There isn't enough oxygen to breathe. The climate is changed. Everything what we had is damaged and destroyed... Thw view of our Earth would be just like in MUSE video clip 'Sing for absolution'. I think after hundread or thousand years. Everything will be just like in that video clip. People will fly to the Earth, where people lived long time ago, and thy will see, that we damaged our home. And then just left it... And that view reminds me the view of Mars... Don't you think like that?

I will put the video of wonderful MUSE song, Sing for absolution:




There were some comments which were exactly what I'm saying now! Wow, there are people, who thinks just like me. Maybe, I'm not a veirdo.... Who cares :P

...yes, we will destroy our Earth, just like people, who lived in Mars very long time ago. I think, in my theory, there is a tithe of true. I think, that people lived in Mars. And anyone can't deny it, because there weren't and archeological analysis, so...


few minutes ago... I was googling everything, that I thought about... my name, my surname, cat, umbrella, Matthew Bellamy, gorgeous, music, Muse, Dominic Howard, drummer, guitar, Chris Wolstenholme, world, planet, mars.... And I've found something VERY interesting about Mars... Tou can watch its surface and elevation!

OMG! (or OMM-oh my muse, OMMB-oh my matthew ballamy... and something like that...)
I thought that little children won't want to become astronauts, bacause they just can google it and watch everything online or with google earth... And in the future the number of astronauts could have been decreased (or maybe not.. dunno). The internet is very important thing today... It can do almost everything!.. I'm wondering why it can't launder my socks... I don't actually know, maybe afer two or more years it will do that... who knows...


if you interested of watching Mars online, go to this site in that page, you will see the elevation of Mars... I'm not against the new technologies. It's cool... But sometimes I'm wondering what will be nex?... What will happen in our Universe? In our home, in the Earth?..


few seconds ago... I'm trying to figure out, what is the purpose of my exhistance... interesting... Maybe the purpose of my exhistance is to exhist? Or maybe it is to find ou it? Or just wait for something? Go straight on the groud and don't know if there is a big hole afer few steps... Maybe I will fall... Maybe I will survive... This is the beauty of the life...