... Hello?

I DON'T really know, if someone's reading my blog, but actually, I DON'T really care. I'm happy that I can write something for free XD haha.

Okay, the good news are.... I'VE GOT MY BRAND NEW ELECTRIC GUITAR!!!!! I'm inlove with it (drools). I've already fell in love with my guitar. I bought it from ebay (hehe), "rock school uk" is selling those guitars. Mine is "Benson" "Memphis Limited Edition guitar". It's REALLY beautiful.

Also, I wrote a couple of songs...

Jesus Crist, it's so cold in my room. My fingers are as cold as ice... But I will write :)

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...Snow is falling all around me, children playing, having fun... Why did I remembered this song? I was just desribing, what I can see now... Yeah, this is Christmas song... But the problem is... That I'm not waiting for it. I think, that Christmas supposed to be at least after 6 or 7 monts... But my calendar doesn't agree with me. (Stupid paper thing...) I don't really know why.
Las year, I was crazy about Christmas. Even on September I was ready to decorate my house with all that Christmas stuff. But now... Hmmm... My mum hang a Christmas wreath on my room's wall... It's still hanging... It supose to hang... It's Chistmas time... the Christmas spirit is everywhere... I'm wondering, why did it forgot me? And those X-mas present thing... Oh... Jesus Crist, I just don't feel the upcoming holidays... Well... nobody can help me :( and that is the sadest thing. my sister says, that I'm f**kin' depressed... But I'm not crying... It's like nightmare. I'm afraid that I'm driving myself crazy with those thoughts. That makes the shivers come down my spine...


I'm too strange for myself, so I'm wondering if someone could live with me (yep guys, I'm talking about you). I'm trying to think that nobody understands me... These thoughts are killin' me. I'm just trying not to think about that. And later, the bad thoughts are leaving my head (at least)...


What's next?.. what's next????
I don't know...
My obsession with MUSE didn't decrase at all, and I'm happy about that :P

Oh God, it's so cold here. Even my brain has shrinked from the cold... That's why I'm writing nonesenses...

I'm totally discombobulated...


OK, I'll say bye to all readers (if there are some...)



Bye bye!!! See ya later :*
xxx
Fuzz

one VERY long week...

Hi! It's me again, the fuzzy critter, who drives you crazy with it's meaningless thoughts!

Ok... What's first? I DON'T really know... This week was so complicated... yep... It's Tuesday now... that's why I am saying it's complicated.

I have a lot of questions, which answers cannot be found. Why? Just try to answer this one:

"What is the purpose of our existance? Our puropse is to exist? Or we are existing to find our purpose? Maybe the purpose of our existance is just fictional? Maybe there aren't any of them..."

I don't really know the answers... Life is very hard. Ypu fall ino life, just like ino abyss. And you don't know if you remain, or leave a part of yourself in this world. Thousands of people have died, while I was writing this sentence... Thousands of people, who died, thousands of dreams which will never come true. Maybe that's why people are saying that the life is endless suffering...

I'm feeling downcast, and this feeling is sqeezing inside me, and crushing every my rib, every my ossicle... And then, I will understand that there's nothing left from me... Just a shadow of a person, who exhisted few moments ago...

See... now you know why it's complicated...

Actually, I'm not a person, who is always cruying and always is upset, sad and extremley boring... Just these weeks were very complicated and hard for me, so...


OK! It's ENOUGH to talk about sad and complicated things. Let's talk about the good ones.

For example, last week was relased new MUSE video clip "Undosclosed Desires". It's AMAZING ;D I really love it. Matthew, Dominic and Chris are lookin' so freakin' gorgeous in this video!!!




What do you think? ;> I'm inlove with MUSE.

And I'm proud to be MUSE fan since 2006. When I saw "Starlight" video clip, I fell in love with Matthew Bellamy, his voice, Domimic Howard and Chris Wolstenholme!!!!! <3 AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF TWILIGHT!!! :P

I want to confess... I liked Twilight saga. But, I can reapet: "I LIKED". Now, it's just a story, books, a lot of crazy people, and some stuff like that (I saw Edward panties in internet... gross). Well... I have an intenet blog in which me amd my friends are putting some news about the movies. In the begining, it was fun. After few months (maybe 4... I liked it for 4 months, or maybe less...) it became a commonness thing. Just like the work, which is not quite nteresting for me... Maybe it's because of the bad comments after my posts (someone said that I'm... I won't say... I don't want to...). And, sorry all Twilight fans, R. Pattinson wasn't so handsome for me. I just don't like him... He's annoying me ;)

Oh, my... I'm feeling much better after this confession (I did the same in my real life diary)!!! God, bless all internet and real life diaries!! :D


But I don't wanna quit that thing with my twilight blog... I'm doing this because of people, who are visiting my blog (about 300 people everyday).

I'm an altruist. I always want the best for others. And more than usually, I forgot myself. I'm hiding my feelings when I'm sad or unhappy. I'm only crying when I'm alone. I just don't want to hurt others and show that something is wrong. I hate when someone's got sad just because I'm sad. I'm hiding all that "bad stuff" inside my heart. And when my heart is overflowed of bad emotions and feelings, then... you know... what happens then... I'm crying all night, and in the morning, I just dry my tears into my shirt's sleeve... then I'm feeling much better...


... "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT" says the text on my T-shirt. I like it. I remember, when I said this phrase to my sister, and, after few minutes, she made a T-shirt with it (we bought special textile art markers few months ago). I was surprised... She gave me them three months ago. That's so sweet.

I now, I know... I'm too sentimental... but... I am who I am. And i don't really wanna change myself.

I think I will made some shirts with other phrases, which I'm using very often =3

also, I made a lot of arthystical photos :D I will post them later...

...oh! just look at the time! (22:54) I really should go to bed... see you later!



kisses and HUGE hugs :* ,
Simona

la la la nonsense ;P

... I REALLY hate to say that, but I'm tired of everything. Stupid reapeateed life... Just like from my song. It's called 'Reapeted World'. Another is 'Untouchable Star' and 'Sea of tranquility'. These songs are my favourites from my very long list of songs :)

Also, I DON'T really like when people think, that I'm calm and slow. What can I say? I'm NOT :P It's bullshit and bollocks! (sorry for these words) Actually, I'm very energetic, talkative, friendly and etc. People think like that, because I'm the veirdo at my school. In my class are some people which I don't really like to be in one room... Yes, I'm talking about taunting.... But I'm not a person, who would
give a prominence to that. I'm not like that...

Yep... What else? well I wrote another song (wooohooo) and I'm happy about that. I think that everyone would be happy just like me, if they write a new song :)

As always, i REALLY want to apologize about my grammar or writing mistakes. I'm from Lithuania (in Europe ;D near Latvia and Russia), so.... :) But I'm happy that I can write something at all. Not something, actually. I can write what's on my mind in English. I think that's quite goodthing, don't you think like that? :)
Oh, I forgot to tell you, that I'm writing songs ONLY in English. I couldn't write something Lithuanian... I'm afraid to say, but I understand English much better than Lithuanian! Well... I read somewhere that Lithuanian language is in the 3rd place of world's hardest languages (I don't know if it's true..)! Oh my...
if you think I'm wring try to tell this sentence correctly in Lithuanian:

šešios žąsys su šešiais žąsyčiais :) (Translation: Six goose with six gosling)


what's next? Oh... yes, the Halloween. It's not very popular thing in my country... I really wanted to have a Halloween party and make fake wound, but.... It was impossible... I was wasting my time in the internet... because no-one wanted to make tha party... Well... I'll wait 'till next year.

I wanted to say something, but I forgot. I think you are so tired of my stupid thoughts, aren't you? (if there are some people who are reading my meaningless thoughts...)


Thanks for reading... I will write something more later. Maybe today... or not :P



bye bye bye and HUGE hugs from me!!!!!
Fuzz
(Simona is my real name ;D)